Warning: this post discusses mental health problems
'Ed is happy, Stede is happy, the crew is happy. Izzy stands on the sidelines with rope in his hands, watching them all mingle and play. No one seems to notice the shadows under his eyes, how they grow darker, how the purple bruise-like colour seems permanently inked onto his skin these days.'
Every so often, a fic comes along which challenges my golden rule of fanfic-rec'ing.
And the golden rule is, of course: If it's well-written, I must rec.
Now, by that I don't mean that any number of fics I haven't rec'd are badly written - some are written just fine.
Adequate, serviceable, gets the job done.
But for a fic to be well-written, in my oh-so humble opinion, it has to be well-written.
The quality of the actual writing, the prose itself, must be good - not just OK. (Again, in my humble opinion as lord and master of this blog 😅)
So, if you haven't already guessed - this Our Flag Means Death (OFMD) fic challenged my golden rule.
Why? Well because it tore my heart out and handed it to me.
Even I - the queen of feeding the emo goblin spaghetti brain - found this dark and heart-breaking. Like dark dark, m'k?
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| Via Giphy |
That might be because of the subject matter - this fic deals a lot with poor mental health, and I make no secret of my own issues in that area 😅 - but I don't think so...
...or at least, it's not just that.
Because it's not like I've never read around this subject before 😅
This fic sees Izzy Hands, first mate to Blackbeard and now also Stede Bonnet, slowly falling into a mental health crisis.
His mental and physical health declines slowly over the course of the fic, with our POV centred on his view of a world that he seems a little further away from every day.
(Side note: PLEASE pay attention to the Content Warnings I give below, as well as the tags on the fic itself)
There's something about this fic though.
Perhaps it's how natural Izzy's mental and physical decline is - how organically it happens.
Perhaps it's just the way the fic author draws you through, with the prose, despite your better judgement.
Perhaps it's the unreliability of Izzy's POV, albeit 3rd person, which gives everything a slightly unsteady feel.
The motives and actions of the crew are read by Izzy in a particular way, we're encouraged to read them in the opposite way... but then other things suggest maybe the truth lies in the middle?
And we get this dreamy feel increasing more and more as the fic goes on...
It's hard to explain without getting spoiler-y, so you'll have to judge for yourself.
Content Warnings for this fic (please pay attention!):
- mental health problems (CENTRAL)
- suicidal ideation (MASSIVE WARNING)
- disordered eating
- extremely low self-esteem/self-worth
- physical weakness resulting from mental health crisis
- general background violence b/c pirates
This week's fic, then, is:
It's Fine. It's Always Fine. (Even When It's Not) by LivingInATimeOf_Ships
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