(Warning: this post discusses grief, bereavement, Covid 19, mental health, and general existential crises.)
October was not the easiest month I've ever had - but then, it was far from the hardest, so that's a plus point.
We've been dealing with some of the last admin of my nan's estate, and every time I feel like I've come to terms with her being gone, it's like another gut-punch.
Because I hadn't seen her in-person for so long due to Covid, sometimes it kind of still feels like I'm just waiting for the pandemic to be over, to be able to visit her.
Accepting that I'll never be able to hug her again, after waiting over a year to be able to do so is... difficult.
And of course, me being me and being my #1 own worst critic led to a variety of existential crises about not being 'good enough'
- which is pretty normal for me, but was dialled up to 11 this month for some reason.
BUT - I did a healthy thing!
I actually talked to another hooman bean when my various existential crises got too much to keep in my head! Woo!
(Well... I had a minor breakdown in my living-room and sobbed and ugly-cried at my mother, who I think understood at least some of my incoherent babbling.)
And my he-cat, Jango, is actual magic in fuzzy kitty form, so I'm OK.
(My she-cat, Xena, is also very, very, special - she just has less actual magical powers, and literally slaps me when she's decided I've cuddled her too much. Which is both insulting and mildly hilarious.)
I also hit my seven year blog anniversary on Halloween!
Woo!
Yes, I have been bugging you all for seven years, and you didn't even have to break a mirror 😉
You can check out my anniversary post here, which, true to form, involved existential crises.
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4. Month in Review(s) - September 2021
5. Comics Wrap-Up - They Treat Me Like If I Did Something Criminal
6. Comics Wrap-Up - I Burned All the Place Down, Cause I'm Too F**king Hot
7. Nerd Church - The Writer Diaries: No, I Don't Have A Writing Routine
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Comics Wrap-Up
What You Build, You Lay To Waste - Marvel's What If...?, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, and more
Risk Something, Take Back What's Yours - Marvel's What If...? finale, Bisexual Superman, and more
They Treat Me Like If I Did Something Criminal - Hawkeye, The Batman, Ruby Rose breaking her silence about Batwoman, and more
I Burned All The Place Down 'Cause I'm Too F**king Hot - Marvel's The Eternals, further allegations for and against Ruby Rose, and more
Friday Fics Fix
Trope Stew With SamBucky (You Know You Love It!) - Picking up after The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (TFATWS) series with a road-trip and a whole bunch of other fanfic tropes
A Queer Horror Fanfic Rec List - Because what could be more Queer than horror fanfiction in October? Nothing, that's what!
Loving Losers - Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier from IT, with the storyline we all deserved
What If Zemo Was In the Zombie Apocalypse (With Bucky)? - introducing Baron Zemo to the zombie episode of Marvel's What If...? just because a) I can, and b) so can fic authors
Just Can't Lose Him - A 'The Lost Boys' fic, because Halloween needed Queer vamps *shrugs*
Nerd Church
The Writer Diaries: No, I Don't Have A Writing Routine - no matter how much online writing advice says I 'should' have one
Why Doesn't The Brahms Doll in 'The Boy' (2016) Freak Me Out?! - that's one objectively creepy doll... why am I not freaked out by it?
There's So Much Noise - Human beings did not evolve to use social media, it evolved to use us
Embracing the Minimum and Learning To NOT Go The Extra Mile - continuing my quest to stop myself overworking, by the sudden realisation that I don't have to do everything to the max.
Other Non-Review Posts
Month in Review(s) - September 2021
Seven Years of Blogging! (aka My Blog Anniversary Post)
So that's September! How was yours?
Talk to me! 😀💬
Sorry I'm late to the catch-up Cee. I'm glad you were able to talk to your mom about your problems. Babbling can be its own unique kind of therapy.
ReplyDeleteNo worries, Em, I don't have a deadline for comments ;) And thanks <3
DeleteCongratulations on seven years of blogging! I'm happy you have an outlet for your reading and writing and I appreciate how you share about your personal struggles--I think it helps others to know they aren't alone in this messiness. I'm glad you could talk to your mom--this always helps me to talk to my loved ones too.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much <3
DeleteI'm def. plenty messy enough for everyone, lol. <3