Nerd Church - The World's Exhausting Expectations of Women

Who the hell is it that's making 'the Social norms' anyway?

Cos I think we all need to have a few words with them.

I mean, the amount of stuff we're expected to be and not be doesn't make any goddamn sense. The 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' are ridiculous.

(In a broad sense, I mean - I'm sure there's stuff you actually should do, like eat and sleep and go to the loo, and stuff you shouldn't like arson, theft, murder, voting for Donald Trump, etc.

There's exceptions to most generalisations.)



Women, for example, get a raw effing deal.

Just looking at ads and articles aimed at women can sometimes be goddamned exhausting!

(Note:

I realise other genders have their own struggles.

And Women of Colour, disabled women, and trans women, for example, have specific problems and social expectations to contend with.

This post is meant to be a general meandering of the kinds of things women (ALL women) have to contend with, but is obviously primarily based on my own experiences as a Cisgender Queer White Welsh chick with various disabilities.)

Like, if you listen to the undercurrents of the world at large, women should:

• be pretty, but not proud of being pretty

• wear make-up, but not too much make-up

• be smart, but not 'too' smart

• not speak against dudes - you're too shrill, whiny, or demanding if you do this

Via Giphy

• never get angry, unless you wanna be a 'crazy ex,' 'evil mother-in-law' or point-blank b**ch

• dress in pink frills which are both innocent and sexy but somehow not 'too' innocent, or 'too' sexy

• be thin... but not too thin

• be happy, unless you're single, when your sole objective becomes finding a man so that you don't 'die alone'

• be attracted to any dude who finds you attractive

• only be attracted to women if it's part of a male fantasy

• 'appreciate' unwanted male attention - despite the fact that the word unwanted kinda says it all

• be willing to drop everything for what the men in your life want

• want children

• expect men's careers to be more important than your own

...no-one's better at flying than Carol Danvers, m'k?

Via Giphy

• have bigger or smaller boobs, dependant on what you have already

• take the primary role in childcare, whether it's what's best for you or not

• pay more attention to male politicians, writers, journalists, entrepreneurs, etc. than any other gender

• not show an interest in anything deemed to be 'male' including, but not limited to:
• cars
• sports
• science
• politics

• show interest in anything deemed to be 'female' including, but not limited to:
• hair and make-up
• clothes and fashion
• children

There's more, I could go on and on and on, but basically my point is this: NO-ONE meets all of those expectations.

Some of them (I'm thinking boobs and bodies here,) aren't designed to be meet-able.




And if you think that these sorts of expectations aren't out there... you're either very naïve, or you're a man.

Because things don't have to be said plainly to create an expectation.

They would be so much easier to deal with if they did.



Nope, instead it comes softly, and with stealth.

...The female main character who has no definition beyond wanting to get married and have children.

...The female character whose entire existence is based around the male lead.

...The constant images of the 'perfect' woman looking a particular way, acting a particular way, being a particular way.

...The gender pay gap.

...The removal in many places of women's, and other pregnant people's, right to have an abortion.





We need to accept that women are as varied as the human race - on account of women being people.

And our ideas of what a woman SHOULD be?

Well those ideas SHOULD go out the goddamn window.

What do you think?

What expectations would you add to the list?

If you're not a woman, what expectations are there of your gender?

Talk to me! 💋💬

You can follow me on Twitter @CeeDoraReads, on Pinterest, and on Dora Reads @ BlogLovin. For more ways to support me, check out the Support Me page

Previous Nerd Church Posts:

• Nerd Church - Game of Thrones: No-One's Very Happy, Which Means It's a Good Compromise

• Nerd Church - Is This Dystopia?

• Nerd Church - The Writer Diaries: Patchwork Writing and Whatever Works For You

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Last updated: 8th June 2019