Nerd Church - Anxiety: Worrying About Sh** I Actually Don't Care About

(Warning: this post discusses Anxiety (which you probably figured out) and Depression)


If you're worried about paying the bills when you've got no money in the bank, that's logical.

Likewise, worrying about a friend who's been going through a tough time, or feeling anxious before you give a speech, is totally understandable.

Anxiety, though?

Anxiety blows the normal sh** out of proportion, while adding some completely illogical sh** t'boot.




Thanks to my lovely Depression/Anxiety combo, sometimes I find myself worrying about sh** that... I actually don't care about.



I worry about where the toilets are in restaurants, even when I don't need the loo, because What If I end up needing to go?

The logical answer: if I need to go, then I'll either find the loos or ask someone where they are.

I actually don't care where the loos are right now. Why am I worrying about it?




I worry about finding my seat in a crowded room because What If I pick the 'wrong' one? (Whatever the f**k that means.)

The logical answer: there's no f**king seating plan, what the hell am I talking about?

I actually don't care where I'm gonna sit. I'll have a seat - it's all I need.





I worry a lot about upsetting other people, about being awkward, about getting in people's way and expecting too much of others.

Part of that is good old Depression putting it's two-pennies in and telling me I should avoid taking up other people's precious time and attention, and above all I MUST NOT UPSET PEOPLE.

Part of it is Anxiety's 'happy' little habit of reminding me of EVERY AWKWARD SOCIAL INTERACTION I'VE EVER HAD.





If you've been through this, you know I'm not kidding.

Anxiety's like:

'Hey look! You said exactly the wrong thing and now she hates you! 

That reminds me - remember when you were 14, and the teacher asked you the time, and you read it wrong because of the dyscalculia you didn't know you had!

You couldn't even tell the time, you loser! You read the hands the wrong way round! That was SUPER-awkward!'

...Anxiety is the a**hole that keeps minute track of every awkward moment of your life so that it can use it against you.

So I've been trying to work on reminding myself that a lot of these things don't actually matter.

It's OK if I don't enjoy every single moment of an event or a trip. The world won't end.

It's OK if I'm nervous at meeting new people. But if they don't like me, that's on them.

It's OK if I'd rather have five minutes to sit and think my own little thoughts, rather than charge onto the dance-floor when I actually don't like the song, and the lights are hurting my eyes.

It's OK to change my mind and charge onto the dance-floor a minute later. It's OK to not change my mind and continue sitting there.





It's not easy though.

Because Anxiety sucks, and wants to pump me full of worry and adrenaline over going to pay for something in a shop or figuring out which door I need to use in and out of a building.





If you ever feel like this, dearest nerdlets, then you're not alone - and you're a goddamn rock star.

Take care of yourselves!

If you're struggling with ANYTHING emotionally or mentally my dear nerdlets, PLEASE get help.

There are also suicide prevention and/or mental health helplines you can use if you need them.

And, if you're in the UK or ROI, you can talk to The Samaritans at any time.

You can follow me on Twitter @CeeDoraReads, on Pinterest, and on Dora Reads @ BlogLovin. For more ways to support me, check out the Support Me page

Have you experienced Anxiety?
(Yes, that's an awkward question - I couldn't think of any others!)

Talk to me! 😅💬

Related Reading:

• Anxiety vs Blogger

• Nerd Church - The Basics of Self-Care

• Nerd Church - That Feeling When... Why Labelling Emotions Is Healthy (Ft. #Science)

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Last updated: 15th July 2019