Nerd Church - Pressure, Obligations, and 'Good Enough'

Sometimes, you need to accept things for what they are.

Not always! No way! Sometimes what you need is to dig your heels in and kick and scream.

But there are many situations where we simply have to accept things and move on.

I'm terrible at this.









I want to solve everyone's problems - especially those of the people closest to me.

My mam has taken to turning to me when I'm stressing out about not being able to help my grandparents out more, and saying, very firmly:

'Your. Job. Is. To. LOVE. Them. Anything more that you do for them is just you being wonderful.'

Of course, it's not as simple as all that. But it's an excellent reminder.

Because I do a whole lot for them - as do my parents.









And I get so caught up in what I feel like I SHOULD be doing, that I forget what I HAVE been doing.

It was the same when my mother had cancer - I focussed so much on what I COULDN'T do, that I didn't understand that what I WAS doing was incredible.

It still feels a little indulgent to admit that.

But I have to keep reminding myself that it's true - what I did for my mam, what I'm still doing for my grandparents, what millions of carers do every single day, was, and is, incredible.









I think we do that a lot in our lives, don't we? Ignore our achievements? Whether it be in school, work, family, whatever?

We put pressure on ourselves to go above and beyond, and forget about what we've already achieved, and are still achieving.

Sometimes, you gotta look after yourself first.

You gotta understand your limitations - and yes, by all means, push those boundaries, but remember that if you have honestly hit your limits, that's ok.

Via GIPHY

You hear that? IT'S OK TO HIT YOUR LIMITS!!!!

We're human. We have limits. End of.

Like I said, feel free to push the boundaries a little, but be sensible about it - don't hurt yourself, and try again another day if need be.









Sometimes you need to stop and take stock.

What's the sensible thing here - rest, or fight on?

Put it in perspective.









Of course, responsibility and obligation are things that connect as human beings. And that's wonderful.

Obligations aren't always a bad thing - these things are rarely so black-and-white.

And lots of responsibilities come from a place of empathy and compassion - which is simply beautiful, and shouldn't be denied.









I guess, what I'm saying, is that you ARE 'good enough.'

There's no magical template for what we 'should' do in life - and pretending there is is just going to hurt us.

As long as you're trying, then you're doing amazingly.
















As long as you're being honest with yourself then you'll know whether you've given what you can, or whether you were being a bit half-a*sed.

(Not that there's anything wrong with being half-a*sed occasionally if that's all that's needed - why polish the silverware when all you needed was a clean spoon, after all?)

If you're not being honest with yourself? You'll know, deep down.







Of course, all this sounds very simple. And life rarely is.

As I mentioned, I'm especially bad at accepting what I can and can't do, at recognising my own achievements, and at generally over-working.

But I'm trying to balance things out a little more - and that's what counts, right? 😉









Well, dearest nerdlets, is this something that you struggle with? Do you get what I'm saying?

Nerd Church is taking a break next week, and will be back on 8th April. :)

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Previous Nerd Church Posts:

• Nerd Church - Duality's Duel

• Nerd Church - The Women Who Made Me

• Nerd Church - The Value of Reading